smith.comedy Press
Christmas Plays for Young Actors
smith.comedy press
Hilarious 8 to 30 minute plays for young actors
   
 
To order, use the shopping cart buttons below.  For more information, scroll to page bottom.


 Santa and the Mafiosa Mamas


Santa and the Mafiosa Mamas


Rising transportation costs drive Santa and the elves to establish a Chicago workshop. But trouble (and laughs) arrive when the Godfather and his Mafiosa henchmen move in demanding a 25% cut as part of a protection racket.  Worse yet, the police are on the take and the mayor is accepting kickbacks. Santa soon learns that protest is useless.  "What's a matter? Did I make an offer you got confused?" snears the Godfather. "Show him some muscle boys." Salvation arrives in the unlikely form of the purse-wielding Mafiosa Mamas who decide to straighten out the boys.
We're the Mafiosa Mamas,
We raised our children good,
They follow Papa's footsteps,
Every one a hood.
The boys are nasty criminals,
We're proud of who they are,
But when they cheat old Santa Claus,
The boys have gone too far!

Twelve to fifteen minute play for actors six to fourteen years old.
From thirteen to twenty-seven actors, mixed parts.
Purchase of script gives right to reproduce royalty free one time for single designated school, club, or similar amateur group.  $9.00 CAD, NO TAX.  E-mail delivery.

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On order form, please remember Email address for delivery.


 Santa and the Motorcycle Gang
Santa and the Motorcycle Gang
Santa is in trouble after broken harness and runaway reindeer leave him stranded in the middle of California.  He wishes for nice people to come along and help, but what he gets is a motorcycle gang who would rather rob and beat him up than help.  Quick thinking on Santa's part puts thing into perspective for the gang members, who end up hitching their bikes to the sleigh.  Motorcycles can't fly, but as Santa says, "At Christmas time, anything is possible."  It's bad news for the horrified bikers as the Spirit of Christmas begins to turn them into nice guys!
 Seven to eight minute play for actors six to ten years old.
From four to ten actors, boys or girls.
Purchase of script gives right to reproduce royalty free one time for single designated school, club, or similar amateur group.  $8.00 CAD, NO TAX. E-mail delivery.

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On order form, please remember Email address for delivery.



Santa and the Owlhoot Gang



Santa and the Owlhoot Gang Cover 










It's Christmas Eve, and Black Bart and the notorious Owlhoot Gang move in on the lovely Miss Kitty and her granny at their tumble-down ranch.  With Granny tied up, Bart gets set to marry Kitty against her will.  When Santa learns of the ladies' plight he disguises himself as Texas Red, the most dangerous gunfighter in the west.  All goes well as he terrifies the gang and takes over.  But Bart realizes he has seen this so-called Texas Red somewhere before.  "I seem to remember a feller like you stealin' milk and cookies from my house when I was a little shaver.....  You done gave yourself away when you come down that chimney.  I suddenly realized there's only one man alive enters a house that way.  Santa Claus!"  Things look grim for Santa and the ladies until Kitty turns on the charm and turns the owlhoots against one another.  All is well, but wouldn't it be nice, Kitty sighs, if there really were someone for her to marry -- someone kind and good and handsome?  Enter the sheriff, delivered to the site courtesy of Santa's reindeer.  "Great gallopin' cow ponies!  That was the wildest stage coach ride this old boy ever had.  If I didn't know better, I coulda swore them horses was flyin'!"  Things have a way of working out for the best, and everyone ends up happy — everyone except the owlhoots who face a future behind bars and without Miss Kitty.  "We have a hunch at the end of this tale,/ She'll be seein' that sheriff through a wedding veil.  Rats!"
Fifteen minute play for actors six to fourteen years old.
From eight to eighteen actors, mixed parts.
Purchase of script gives right to reproduce royalty free one time for single designated school, club, or similar amateur group.  $9.00 CAD, NO TAX. E-mail delivery.

Select File Format for Script

On order form, please remember Email address for delivery.



 The Owlhoot Gang and the Weddin' Bell Blues

This play is a sequel to  Santa and the Owlhoot Gang.  However, it is also designed to stand alone.


Wedding Bell Blues Cover  



The Owlhoot Gang is back!  Kitty and the Sheriff are about to leave the ranch for their Christmas Eve wedding, but the Owlhoots have the place surrounded.  As Santa arrives, the Owlhoots open fire, and he barely makes it down the chimney.  However, the Owlhoots get the idea and soon are yeeha-ing down the chimney and tumbling into the room.  Black Bart tells his favourite story (called The Three Little Owlhoots) and announces his intention to marry Kitty and let the rest of the gang get hitched to the bridesmaids.  It'll be "one great big weddin' for all of us!".

Bart: So, little Kitty, little Kitty, open up your heart and let me in, let me in.
Kitty: Not by the hair of my chinny chin chin!
Bart: Then I'll huff and I'll puff, and I'll blowww... you a kiss.)

Owlhoot: Say, Bart, Kitty ain't really got a gairy chin, does she?

Santa is there to help, the sheriff vows to fight the gang with his dying breath ("Har, har.  Must be pretty stinky if he's gonna fight us with it."), but Miss Kitty saves the day by tricking the Owlhoots into getting themselves tied up and out of the picture.
 
We got took in by Kitty's ruse,
And now we're singin' the weddin' bell blues.
 Seventeen to twenty minute play for actors nine to sixteen years old.
From twelve to eighteen actors, mixed parts.
Purchase of script gives right to reproduce royalty free one time for single designated school, club, or similar amateur group.  $9.00 CAD, NO TAX. E-mail delivery.

Select File Format for Script

On order form, please remember Email address for delivery.


 Santa and the Wrestle Maniacs


Wrestle Maniacs Cover 


Santa gets more than he bargains for when the chimney he chooses lands him Smack Down in the middle of the Christmas Eve Wrestle Maniac Extravaganza.  It's a tag team mega match, and everyone thinks Santa is The Pretender, a wrestler known for his impersonations.  The fun and the action heat up as Santa is forced to help Brat the Hurtman ("Oww, I'm hurt, man!") Smart and his brother the Hatman defeat the Germinator, the Honker Bonker and Mr. Screwie Kung Fooie. In spite of the bad guys' dirty tactics ("Hey, they're tying up the referee!" cry the announcers), Santa must survive to make his mark as a wrestler. And then there is the gaggle of singing and chanting protesters:
Down with wrestling,
Stop it short;
It's unwholesome as a sport!

Perhaps Santa, and the audience, will agree with the protestors recurring message.
Twenty to thirty minute play for actors eight to eighteen, or more, years old.
From eleven to twenty, or more, actors, mixed parts.
Optional characters and lines provide flexibility performance in time and number of actors.
Purchase of script gives right to reproduce royalty free one time for single designated school, club, or similar amateur group.  $10.00 CAD, NO TAX. E-mail delivery.

Select File Format for Script

On order form, please remember Email address for delivery.


 Santa Meets Saddy the Pain and the Super Cannon
Saddy the Pain
Christmas in the Middle East finds dictator Saddy the Pain and his bumbling soldiers intent on blasting America with the ultimate weapon -- the Super Cannon.  Things get dangerous for Santa when he is mistaken for an enemy aircraft and knocked out of the sky.  When Santa admits delivering presents to America, Saddy orders him tied to the super cannon.  "Wow, this is a nasty guy," Santa mutters as they drag him off.  Fortunately, a trick enables Santa to get Saddy in front of the cannon for a blast of Christmas Spirit powder that changes Saddy's outlook.  "You mean I'm going to love my fellow man?" Saddy cries in dismay.  "I'd rather have been killed."  But he can't stop it, and before long, he and his soldiers are helping Santa by shooting him up to the sleigh again from the Super Cannon.  As Santa flies away, a confused Saddy shouts, "Don't forget to do America next!  Eiii yi yi! I'm losing my mind!" 
Ten minute play for actors six to thirteen years old.
From five to twelve actors, boys and/or girls can play these parts.
Purchase of script gives right to reproduce royalty free one time for single designated school, club, or similar amateur group.  $8.00 CAD, NO TAX. E-mail delivery.

Select File Format for Script

On order form, please remember Email address for delivery.


 Laff-a-Daze-Ical Variety Show


Laff-a-Daze-Ical Variety Show  



This package of  hilarious, all-occasion skits will stand-alone as a complete comedy variety show.  Or selected skits can be used in Christmas concerts, talent shows, family gatherings, and other entertainment situations. The plays include:
Babbot & Cobello: My Friend Hoo: an Abbot & Costello style comedy routine in four parts.
Mr Right: Is Mr. Wright really Mr. Right, or is he completely wrong?  Mom's worry turns to indignation and outrage as she listens to her daugher's mixed-up story.
The Right Fit: Denture troubles solved by the local mortician.
The Mad Scientist & the Transmuter Computer: Zah clazy scientist's invention changes a passer-by into a can of pop, which gets poured into the sink. "Remember, if you don't vant your life to go down za drain, don't turn to drink!"
The Mad Scientis & the Secret Formula: Zah clazy scientists cook up a strange brew. Don't let the sodium kaboombinate blow!
Court is Now in Session:  Defendants irrite the judge with off-the-wall remarks.
Shootout: There's fun when the lady belles decide to slap leather. "I'm sure I had a gun in this purse somewhere."
The Owlhoot Gang: Six Quickies: Six walk-on  funny western fillers using four owlhoots in each.

 Plays are from five to eight minutes each, play for actors nine to nineteen years old.
For up to 40 actors, mixed parts.
Purchase of script gives right to reproduce royalty free one time for single designated school, club, or similar amateur group.  $10.00 CAD, NO TAX. E-mail delivery.

Select File Format for Script

On order form, please remember Email address for delivery.


Need a Script, and Need it NOW?

We find that as Christmas approaches, our customers need scripts
quickly. Our scripts come to you by e-mail
so you can get right to rehearsals!
We use e-mail attachments in either MS Word or Corel WordPerfect format.

PLEASE NOTE THAT IN ORDER TO KEEP PRICES DOWN,
WE NO LONGER SHIP SCRIPTS BY MAIL.
ALL SCRIPTS ARE DELIVERED BY E-MAIL.

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to you directly.  We make every effort to be prompt, and in most cases, you will receive your scripts within 24 hours of your
order, usually sooner, especially during the Christmas season.  When you order, please type your e-mail address
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If you have concerns about the service, or encouter problems,
feel free to contact us by clicking the e-mail link at the bottom of the page.


PURCHASE ORDERS
Schools in North America, ordering a MINIMUM OF 3 SCRIPTS, may use our optional purchase order form.  Please click the link for details..
 School Purchase Order Form

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